The piano

I am sat listening to my beloved playing a borrowed electric Rhodes piano. We started out with '40s popular and have progressed to '70s funk. Anyhow me and my youngest, a waitress in a local posh local hotel, think we can rent him out in a dickie-bow for dinner-dos. I, of course, burst into rapturous applause after each melody (he joins in for himself!) All I need is some 'family diamonds', a Martini cocktail and red lipstick.

I spent some of this morning cutting my mother's fingernails. Apparently, if you are a carer or nurse you are not employed, or insured to, look after fingernails. If someone doesn't have a caring family member they, I suppose, grow long, mucky talons. Similarly, if you don't have a daughter to measure you for a bra and try several on, if you are in a nursing home, you are left to rely on 'whoever' to purchase your undies. Anyway enough of my rant about care for the elderly.

I am working on my dearest to play a selection of really naff 'family favourites'. My plan is to subject those gathered at tea-time in the nursing home, on my mother's birthday, to the family Van-Thomas. I think "what shall we do with a drunken sailor" "Lavenders Blue" "Favourite Things" and "Ashgrove" will go down a treat (while my biker husband squirms in his very tough boots). I will, of course, supply the birthday cake and wear a frock.